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  1. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    ...more do you want, for him to slap you on the ass and tell you to make him a sandwich?!" Ghira: "He paid HOW MUCH?!" Blake: "I...um...er..." Kali: *eyes sparkling* "A dowry! That's so charmingly old-fashioned!" Ghira: *grumbling* "I suppose a boy like that can't be that bad, then. You have...

  2. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts
    Threadmarks: The Novel

    ...are fans of his work. The problem is that they identify too much with the characters he creates, all of which have...unfortunate fates. Pyrrha: *numb, the book having fallen from her hands* "Alex...alexandria dies? She's...she's killed, just like that? What about her - her destiny? And her...

  3. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Ren ascends to become a bodhisattva, Jaune accidentally becomes god-king of the Ever After, Cardin somehow takes over Menagerie and the White Fang, and Sun founds a kingdom of monkeys that gains full rights as a nation all in one night.

  4. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    *Team RWBY eavesdrop on Ozpin and Ruby* Ozpin: "Everyone makes mistakes, Miss Rose. Why, Miss Belladonna has killed more civilians and noncombatants through inaction and willful blindness than twenty of you could through deliberate malice-" Blake: *horrified whisper* "What?" Ozpin: "And Miss...

  5. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Team JNPR accidentally become pirates, Jaune fights off horny mermaids, Nora tames a kraken, Pyrrha wrestles a sea goddess and wins, Ren somehow becomes the most dreaded pirate on the seven seas, and Team RWBY blow up a warehouse and some Atlesian mechs because of the White Fang. Ruby: "...and...

  6. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Ruby: *sobbing* "IT'S TRUUUUU-OOOO-OOOOO! Filthy NTR blood runs through my veins! I'M DOOMED TO BE A BED-HOPPING HOMEWRECKER!" Yang: "Sis, it's not that-" Ruby: "JUST LIKE YANG'S DOOMED TO BE A CHUNNI DEADBEAT GIRLFAILURE IN A PERMANENT MIDLIFE CRISIS AND WEISS IS GOING TO END UP LIKE EBENEZER...

  7. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Crack idea: Jaune has a cooking channel on Remnant's Youtube equivalent and he streams his day cooking up a holiday feast for St Lucy's and JNPR. RWBY are actually completely clueless about his channel's popularity and end up getting caught on stream as they try to grab food from the kitchen.

  8. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Here's a thought regarding those Jaune-with-Pokemon ideas; in keeping with his knight theme, Jaune's pokemon are all dragons or dragon-adjacent. His starter is now a Charizard, he has a Gyarados, a Hydreigon, etc. It's all the funnier when he comes to Beacon on dragonback.

  9. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Nah, have both Adam and her partner call her out for taking her egg into her fight with the Fang. Adam: "This is why you're going to be a triple divorcee in a singles' apartment and limited contact with your kids by the time you're thirty, Blake." Blake: *staggers back from EMOTIONAL DAMAGE*

  10. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Jaune discovers his semblance early on and Ren helps him experiment with it. Nobody, least of all Team RWBY, is prepared for Ren the Hidden Ninja oneshotting every single combatant with a bellow of "SNEAK ATTACK!"

  11. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    In a twist, it's Weiss who ends up botching things.

  12. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Nick actually turns out to be a Sith Lord who got amnesia when he crash-landed and then regained his memories when he was already happily married, then decided he was happier as the amnesiac Jedi Apprentice and just continued on. Nick: "Now, if something were to happen to my only son, I would...

  13. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    ...shampoo, and you think this is all some plan to destroy you as a soggy witch in my birthday suit?!" Ozpin: "But...if you're not...then who-" Yang: *high-pitched* "Ruby?!" Cinder: "Ruby?!" The Old Noodle Seller: "Ruby?!" Salem: "Ruby." Ruby: "NO! I am not Ruby Rose! Ruby Rose is not who I...

  14. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    ...The Grimm, the Maidens? That's basically a hobby; the actual Salem acts more like Bandora, down to the penny-farthing and the singing. Salem: *appearing in broad daylight* "BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Rangers, your doom is at hand! Salem Tauros is unstoppable! Grimm Spirits deep within the earth, grant...

  15. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    On that note, Jaune as a fantasy/fantasy-horror monster hunter, balancing his student life with the job he was trained for. Pyrrha: *freaked out* "What was that?!" Jaune: "A Grimm." Pyrrha: "You decapitated it with a silver sword and buried it with a sickle around its head! That's not how you...

  16. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    ...get that cake?" Nora: "Jaune-jaune." Ruby: "He bought it?" Nora: "Nah, made it. I smashed fifty Grimm and got dessert privileges last night." Ren: *stabs down between a shadow clone's fingers without looking* "Feline, if you do so much as breathe on my steamed fish I will burn your books...

  17. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    ...In fact, it's the most traditional pre-War faunus settlement with the, er, old cultures and traditions still alive and well..." Will E. Coyote: *holds up signal cards* "Big cat faunus rule, other felines are second class, then other mammal faunus, and everyone else can get fucked." Tom Cat...

  18. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    *The Gods are summoned and Salem is defeated* Ozpin: *closing his eyes* "At last...I...I can rest..." God of Darkness: "Haha no, fuck that. Enjoy the next five thousand years of playing bodyjacker." Ozpin: "...what." God of Light: "Yeah, no, we're not doing this, Ozma." Ozpin: "WHY?!" God of...

  19. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Crack idea: Typical Jaune gets betrayed and expelled from Beacon, blah blah blah, only Salem is genre savvy. Salem: "Behold, Ozma: my secret weapon! An earnest knight with no edgelord backstory or super-special eyes, armed with only the efforts of his blood, sweat, and tears!" Ozpin: "Fuck me...

  20. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Fafnir: "Oh, come on! I even gave you The Speech! It worked with Winter!" *Weiss has accidentally overextended herself and crashed into the rest of RBY. They knocked themselves out.* Weiss constantly assuming the most nefarious situations with Fafnir and Whitley would be hilarious. Jaune...
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