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I imagine it's because killing your own mother in reality isn't killing someone in Minecraft.
Even if we put aside all the moral hangups, she is still a prominent military officer connected to a prominent Moff. Her death would be investigated and the MC isn't Moriarty.
I love the chapter, and the building suspense. If I have to offer criticism it's that it's rather weird to write down you have thoughts of rebelling and then just leave said note lying around. I get that he's confused, but he's clearly in a sect/military installation. That level of carelessness...
He's about to say something very smart, drunk people always do.
I'm impressed Baelon's able to put up with Rhaenyra so well, I'd have likely lost the patience for it within a week.
My understanding of Cole is that he was rather idealistic and took his vows very seriously. When Rhaenyra got him to betray them it destroyed his self image. When he realized that he threw away his honor to be a sex toy to a little girl that didn't even care about him it pushed him over the...