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  1. Mad King Kevin

    Seriously. Have You TRIED the Cookies?
    Threadmarks: Chapter 32: Aggressive Negotiations

    Chapter 32: Aggressive Negotiations The vote passed without applause. Satine felt the moment it happened more than she heard it—the subtle shift in the chamber's posture, the way tension redistributed itself rather than dissipated. Relief existed, yes, but it was thin and brittle, the kind...
  2. Mad King Kevin

    Handsome Jack: The Hero?
    Threadmarks: Chapter 32: Operation: Tea Party

    Chapter 32: Operation: Tea Party You ever notice that every "serious military briefing" starts with people pretending they're not hungover? Yeah. We didn't even bother pretending. The mission board was supposed to be glowing behind me, projecting all kinds of top-secret intel about Atlas troop...
  3. Mad King Kevin

    Seriously. Have You TRIED the Cookies?
    Threadmarks: Chapter 31: Vote or Die, Nerf Herder

    Chapter 31: Vote or Die, Nerf Herder Sundari had been fortified like a city expecting an invasion. Duchess Satine Kryze walked the upper concourse of the Parliament District with her hands folded neatly behind her back, posture immaculate, expression serene enough to be mistaken for...
  4. Mad King Kevin

    Handsome Jack: The Hero?

    Chapter 31: Hyperion Solutions Let me tell you something about innovation. Everyone thinks it's about ideas — about vision, creativity, changing lives, blah blah blah. Nah. Innovation's about branding. You slap a shiny slogan on the side of a death machine, and suddenly it's "humanitarian."...
  5. Mad King Kevin

    Handsome Jack: The Hero?
    Threadmarks: Chapter 30: Desert Diplomacy

    Chapter 30: Desert Diplomacy The Dahl Headlands had a special way of reminding you how little Pandora cared about peace talks. The wind never stopped, the sand cut like glass, and the horizon looked like a graveyard that hadn't gotten the memo about staying quiet. In short, it was probably one...
  6. Mad King Kevin

    Seriously. Have You TRIED the Cookies?
    Threadmarks: Chapter 30: The First Order, Expansion Pack

    Chapter 30: The First Order, Expansion Pack The star map hovered in front of me like an accusation. Blue light bled across the command deck, washing over durasteel consoles that had once belonged to a navy so cautious it had built two hundred dreadnoughts and then hidden them out of...
  7. Mad King Kevin

    Handsome Jack: The Hero?
    Threadmarks: Chapter 29: Field Testing

    Chapter 29: Field Testing New Haven had seen better tents. The "Command Center" — as Moxxi insisted on calling it, complete with neon sign that read "War Room, Sweetheart" in pink cursive — was technically a repurposed shipping container with sandbags, a dented holo-map, and an open bar in the...
  8. Mad King Kevin

    Seriously. Have You TRIED the Cookies?
    Threadmarks: Chapter 29: The First Rule about Empire Club

    Chapter 29: The First Rule about Empire Club The ritual chamber used to be Jabba's private audience room. That fact alone probably should have stopped us. The walls were still carved with obscene excess—gold inlays, Huttese sigils of ownership, reliefs depicting crimes that absolutely did not...
  9. Mad King Kevin

    Handsome Jack: The Hero?
    Threadmarks: Chapter 28: Friends in Low Places

    Chapter 28: Friends in Low Places There were three things Lilith noticed the moment she walked into Moxxi's bar: the smell of cheap perfume, the shimmer of pink neon, and the sound of Scooter's mother making eye contact with her soul. "Well, sugar, aren't you a sight." Lilith blinked. "You...
  10. Mad King Kevin

    Seriously. Have You TRIED the Cookies?
    Threadmarks: Chapter 28: Death Watch and Learn

    Chapter 28: Death Watch and Learn Obi-Wan Kenobi had long ago accepted that stress, like the Force, was an ever-present field—unseen, inescapable, and prone to manifesting at the worst possible times. Still, Mandalore was testing even his patience. The Royal Government Complex of Sundari was...
  11. Mad King Kevin

    Handsome Jack: The Hero?
    Threadmarks: Chapter 27: Atlas Shrugged (and Shot at Us)

    Chapter 27: Atlas Shrugged (and Shot at Us) The dawn wasn't peaceful—never was, these days. Smoke hung over New Haven like a blanket that hadn't been washed in months. Impressive, considering it's been closer to weeks. But that was Pandora for you. The air smelled of oil, ozone, and nerves...
  12. Mad King Kevin

    Seriously. Have You TRIED the Cookies?
    Threadmarks: Chapter 27: Master Debater

    Chapter 27: Master Debater The first thing I noticed about Jabba's throne room—my throne room now—was that it didn't actually have a throne. That probably should have been obvious in hindsight. Jabba the Hutt hadn't needed a chair. He had been the chair. The furniture. The architecture. The...
  13. Mad King Kevin

    Handsome Jack: The Hero?
    Threadmarks: Chapter 26: The General's Orders

    Chapter 26: The General's Orders The smoke hadn't even cleared when the questions started. Roland stood at the edge of the captured outpost, watching a dozen Crimson Lance soldiers kneel in the dust, their red armor dulled by ash and blood. Some were nursing burns; others just stared at the...
  14. Mad King Kevin

    Seriously. Have You TRIED the Cookies?
    Threadmarks: Chapter 26: Storming the Castle

    Chapter 26: Storming the Castle You can tell when you're being hunted by an amateur. There's noise to it. A kind of eagerness. Presence in the Force that flares too brightly, like someone waving their arms and shouting here I am, please notice me murdering you. I'd dealt with that kind of foe...
  15. Mad King Kevin

    Seriously. Have You TRIED the Cookies?
    Threadmarks: Chapter 25: Welcome to Tatooine! Population: Soon To Be Ours

    Chapter 25: Welcome to Tatooine! Population: Soon To Be Ours Greedo had lived on Tatooine his entire life. This meant two things. First, he had a highly refined sense for danger. Not the heroic kind—no instincts about destiny or noble sacrifice—but the practical, survival-oriented awareness...
  16. Mad King Kevin

    Handsome Jack: The Hero?
    Threadmarks: Chapter 25: Old Ghosts, New Problems

    Chapter 25: Old Ghosts, New Problems You ever walk into a place that smells like potential and failure at the same time? Maybe a start-up company. A new school. An internship at a place you never heard of. It comes in a lot of forms, but you can never forget that feeling. That blend of...
  17. Mad King Kevin

    Seriously. Have You TRIED the Cookies?
    Threadmarks: Chapter 24: Sith Happens

    Chapter 24: Sith Happens The chamber was quiet. Too quiet. And I don't mean that in a cliché Scooby Doo kind of way. I mean actually too quiet. The chamber was sealed, air tight. We got nothing. No ambient winds, or even the subtle humm of electricity in the walls. Nothing particularly...
  18. Mad King Kevin

    Handsome Jack: The Hero?
    Threadmarks: Chapter 24: Welcome Back, Jack!

    Chapter 24: Welcome Back, Jack! Corporal Reiss adjusted his helmet for the fifth time that morning. The damn thing never fit right. Too loose at the chin, too tight at the temples, and the inside always smelled faintly of recycled sweat no matter how many sterilization cycles it went through...
  19. Mad King Kevin

    Handsome Jack: The Hero?
    Threadmarks: Chapter 23 Pop Goes The Destroyer

    Chapter 23 Pop Goes The Destroyer Are you kidding me?! You know, I'll be the first to admit that my last life wasn't perfect. I procrastinated too much, I made decisions that I thought were smart, but had horrible consequences, and I didn't spend enough time with the family. And even though...
  20. Mad King Kevin

    Seriously. Have You TRIED the Cookies?
    Threadmarks: Chapter 23: Diplomatic Disasters

    Chapter 23: Diplomatic Disasters Sundari had always felt like a city built to make a point. Smooth white domes rose from the ground like declarations of intent, uninterrupted by ornament or excess. The walkways curved gently, guiding movement rather than obstructing it. Even the air felt...
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