2nd January
16:23 GMT -5
"Thank you, detective.
"
I smile politely, then open the door to the interview room where Mr Hamill is sitting…
Pacing in a state of agitation.
"This is bull-!"
I raise my hands, and she cuts herself off. I nod and smile in thanks, then turn and close the door.
"Mister Hamill-.
"
"On top of everything else, I gotta get a
lawyer now?!"
"Good news: I'm a lawyer.
"
She stops, frowning. "What? Is that some sort of.. superhero sideline thing?"
"Sort of.
" I gesture to one of the chairs with my right hand.
"Would you like to sit down?
"
She shakes her head a little, but pulls out the indicated chair and slumps into it.
"Both presently existing Lantern Corps are run by members of a species that originated on the planet Maltus. They're a very
old species, and.. more than a little arrogant. Now, because they went pretty much everywhere in the galaxy before the species living there now -including ours- even existed, they… Say that they have a prior claim over the territory. They're generously letting us use our own worlds for
now, but they claim the right to intervene as they see fit.
"
"Sound like a bunch of
pricks."
"It's a.. posture. And most places are
very happy to have Lanterns around. But, one of the ways this 'universal jurisdiction' manifests is that they consider themselves authorised to practise law anywhere. And once they started hiring people from younger species to work for them, they extended that to Corps officers as well. As a result, I can practise law pretty much anywhere in the universe. So right now I'm having my ring feed me everything I need to know about American criminal law, and it's giving me a
bit of a headache.
So.
"
I pull out the chair opposite and sit down.
"The two men you're alleged to have assaulted.
"
"They
literally told me that they robbed a place. They said they thought I was a supervillain! They were trying to hire me!"
"And I believe you.
" I make a point of maintaining eye contact for a moment.
"Do you remember
exactly what they said?
"
"Ah… Guy with the bag didn't say nothing. Guy at the front… Ah… Said I was… A long way from Gotham… Tried guessing my superhero name, and… Asked if I was a bad.. girl…" She frowns. "Huh."
"Huh?
"
"I'm not like a
total knuckle-dragger or nothing… But-." She focuses on me. "If you were working with your shirt off and some chick whistled at you, how would you
take it?"
I shrug.
"I know I look good. I'd find being whistled at.. a bit odd, but if it was just a one-off thing I think I'd smile, and.. maybe pose a little. I mean, if I wasn't fighting a supervillain at the time or something.
"
"Right, see, I always figured I'd do the same? Never
happened, but…"
"But?
"
"He was leering and shit, and he grabbed my tits."
"That makes things legally simpler.
"
"I don't know what I'd have done if some chick did that to my
actual body… Some chick who wasn't
Amy-" She smiles. "-'cause I've got a pretty good idea what I'd do
there. Know what I'd do if a
guy did it… So I guess that's equality for you?" She shakes her head. "Grabbing a chick's tits. I mean, who the fuck
does that?"
"Apparently, Mark Bardon, arrested on suspicion of eight counts of breaking and entering and presently in hospital with electrical burns.
"
"Is-? I mean, is he gunna
die or something? I was just trying to shock him…"
"The police weren't willing to say. But since I have a power ring, no, he's not going to die. He'll be completely fine in a few weeks. You did less damage than you would if you had shot him.
"
Mr Hamill pulls a face. "
Bastard. So what the hell am I
here for?"
"He claims that you blasted him with lightning and took his money.
"
"
His money?"
"I… Suggest that whether he stole it
first or not doesn't help your position unless you immediately returned it to the person you believed to be the lawful owner.
"
"Okay, yeah, I guess… But what the fuck was I supposed to do? My wallet disappeared when all my clothes did. And Amy didn't believe I'm who I said I was."
I nod, sitting back slightly.
"Okay. You weren't carrying the money when you entered the Themysciran Embassy. Where did it go?
"
"I stuck it out the way on the roof of the next building."
Ring…
Item located.
"Okay, good. Did you spend any of it?
"
She shrugs. "I bought
dinner…"
I nod.
"Okay. I'll get the bag and hand it to the police.
Generally they're prepared to overlook minor offences when something sufficiently weird is going on, but I would encourage you to tell me now if you hit anyone else, or… Did anything else that might constitute a criminal offence.
"
"Ah… I mighta damaged Dan's truck when I changed." She shrugs. "I didn't really see…"
"Anything else?
"
"No. Just… On the truck, transformed, flew home -you know about
that-, ran into the guys on the roof, kinda wandered around for a bit, got something to eat, wandered around a bit
more, then… Went to the embassy."
I nod.
"Alright. Now, going back to your encounter with the two on the roof. What were you doing when you first encountered them?
"
"Amy… Took pity on me. She gave me some of her clothes when I left, but they didn't..
fit..?" I nod. "I was trying to get them on
anyway. I guess I heard them coming up the fire escape, but I didn't really
notice until… What'd you say his name was? Mark? Until he started talking. The guy with the bag stayed back until I blasted Mark, then he shot me a couple a' times-."
"I'm sorry,
shot you?
"
"He didn't
hit me." She shrugs. "So I blasted him too.
He alright?"
I sit back.
"The police only arrested Mark. Since he wasn't on the rooftop, I think we can reasonably assume that he recovered
somewhat. Finding him should serve to keep the police occupied, at least. Now, the detective overseeing the investigation wants to conduct an interview. Obviously, I'll be here to offer advice, but these are the key points as I see it. You were attacked and acted in self-defence. You
did take the money, but there were extenuating circumstances and it's going to be returned. And you don't intend to take up vigilantism as a hobby. Okay?
"
She nods, and I get up and head for the door.
